Try an experiment. Grab three or four people and ask them to look at this painting for 30 seconds then close their eyes and describe what they saw. Don’t be surprised if each person sees the painting in ways others do not.

If we see things so differently, what might each of us missing? Leaders need to be continually aware of what they and others may be missing. Our brains are constantly painting a picture of the world around us. Leaders need to understand what others do and do not see in order to tap into and shape a common picture of the future—whether that means convincing people to launch a new business or take action to protect the environment. Effective leaders look for ways to bridge their own and others’ mental pictures so everyone shares a sense of why their work is important, how they will get things done, and what they will accomplish.

We start constructing an understanding how things work as soon as we are born. Early in life, we see the world as it is. Imagine a 2-year-old child’s jaw dropping as grandpa pulls a coin from behind her ear; children exist in the moment. As our brains develop, we learn things may not be as they first appear. When we aren’t looking the coin is hidden behind a finger. We become aware that words and actions are not the same—I’m not really going to “pull my hair out!” We build a mental model to explain why things are as they are and how the world works. Each of us believes our model is right. Uh oh. Now what?

As leaders we first need to accept that our own mental models may be wrong and incomplete. As Kathryn Schulz writes in Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error, this is really hard—first, it’s hard to accept you’re wrong most of the time (trust me, I’m working on it) and, second,  it’s hard to help others recognize what they may be missing. That doesn’t mean it’s not important. In fact, it’s an essential leadership skill.

Every day we see leaders who are afraid of admitting their mistakes. Does anyone not make misteaks? Who has all the information they could possibly need before making an important decision? Still we decide things everyday. Should I be writing this blog post or doing something else? It’s always a choice and, if I miss something because I’m writing this, in retrospect, I may have made the wrong decision.

I admire leaders unafraid to make mistakes and curious to learn what they don’t know. I challenge you to be a leader who learns from others and the world around you. Going around having to be right all of the time is exhausting. Try asking yourself, “What am I missing?” I’ll bet you look at Renoir’s painting differently after hearing other people’s perspectives. Just imagine how asking what you’re missing might change your picture of the world.

The post What Am I Missing? appeared first on The Public Leadership Blog.

Government and politics were rated as less civil than any other public sphere–less civil than traffic or talk radio. Only places of worship and friends/relatives were thought to be places where people are civil.

What does civility mean? Generally, civility is defined as formal politeness and courtesy in behavior and speech. It is demonstrated by showing dignity, respect, and tolerance for others and their views. Civility does not mean we all agree. Civility means we disagree without being disagreeable. Civility is critical for sustaining the democratic principle that we are all entitled to hold and express our opinions. Civility ennobles our debates over common values and the common good.

“Civility means a great deal more than just being nice to one another.  It is complex and encompasses learning how to connect successfully and live well with others, developing thoughtfulness, and fostering effective self-expression and communication.

Civility includes courtesy, politeness, mutual respect, fairness, good manners, as well as a matter of good health.”

– Pier Massimo Forni, professor and founder of the Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins University

So who is responsible for improving civility? Survey respondents say the public, generally, bears the greatest responsibility for improving civility, followed closely by political leaders. The first step toward creating a culture of civility is what we do in our own lives.

A national conference of college Democrats, Republicans and Independent students came up with the ten recommendations for improving civil discourse.

“Ten Tips to Improve Civility”
1. Listen to opposing views.
2. Seek shared values.
3. Acknowledge the legitimacy of opposing positions.
4. Identify the problem at-hand, focusing on it rather than on larger conflicts.
5. Avoid political caricatures, labels and generalizations that may not truly represent the views of your adversaries.
6. Accept that disagreement will exist without giving up your own convictions.
7. Clarify what is being said before attacking and/or responding.
8. Recognize the value of solutions beyond those offered by traditional party platforms.
9. Consider the consequences of what you say and do.
10. Hold yourself personally accountable for your own political actions.

What can community leaders do to create a more civil environment? As political and governmental leaders we are charged with being exceedingly civil–we are in the public eye and our behavior sets an example for others. How we interact with each other influences how our public interacts with us.

Local government leaders set the tone and frame the debate. If local government is seen as uncivil, trust is diminished. If board members are uncivil toward each other, little progress can be made. If a governing board is uncivil toward professional staff, the staff will be fearful to share new ideas and opportunities. We owe it to each other and to our communities to treat one another with respect and dignity.

You model civility through your words and actions. As leaders, you can establish common expectations for behavior and adopt agreements and ground rules for civility in your local government. You can ask each other and the public to abide by these agreements. Civility begins with you. And if not you, then who?

The post Creating a Culture of Civility appeared first on The Public Leadership Blog.